Its a girl!
No, there wasn’t a human baby delivered recently. I’m referring to the cow that today’s partner had on that call. It wasn’t a big deal. Some dude passed out while he was driving, likely attributed to...
View ArticleA blogger outed
Somebody who knows me found my blog. Uh-oh. I have enjoyed a certain amount of anonymity from behind the veil of the internet, and have been quite fortunate. A few of my readers know my name, and an...
View ArticleMy partner is back!
Holy cow, Slimm is back. I swear, I could have hugged him. In a buddy-type of way. I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable or anything. It was a surprise, too. See, at Local Ambulance, we have a...
View ArticleFalse competence
Double-ALS-night-shift-overtime. Half good, half bad. I don’t know why I agreed to work a night shift. It’s going easy enough until around 3 in the morning. Diabetic call at the local premortuary...
View Article“Floyd, dude”
I’m transporting a nice guy in his thirties for a broken ankle. He’s a stoner, and currently high as a kite, which has nothing to do with the unfortunate injury he sustained. Regardless, it doesn’t...
View ArticlePhone calls
“FEM/22YO/BLEEDING FROM MOUTH” says the MDT. We arrive on scene to find a pleasant looking female, approximately the age stated on our mobile dispatch terminal thingie. We don’t notice any obvious...
View ArticleNo autographs, thank you
Some call for some lame-sounding complaint at a pricey address. Like, multi-million dollar homes behind fancy gates and stuff. A sick 80 year old or something like that. Fancy house. Lots of stone...
View ArticleDirty carpet
Working with a new guy today. He told me his name, but I forgot it after I fell asleep. It was like, 4 in the morning. Cut me some slack, okay? He has had no fewer than 6 cups of coffee in the past 2...
View ArticleGuns are a bad idea for EMS
The gun-carrying for EMS debate is getting stronger down here. It hasn’t totally died down, but for some reason it is becoming more and more of an issue. I really think that EMS carrying guns is a bad...
View ArticleMCI review
When at an MCI, assignments are given to you. For example “take those three patients from that car right there to Local Hospital.” But we all knew that already. When those instructions are given, it...
View ArticleCath lab
I’m running a call with Joe again. A little old lady fell down. Literally. Fire is on scene. We all mosey into the house. “Hey, guys. Whatchagot?” “Hey, this is Maude*. She fell right here walking to...
View ArticleNunnya
Slimm is in a mood. He hasn’t had his coffee or his sausage biscuit, and it is cold outside. Slimm doesn’t do well when cold, hungry, and decaffeinated. We are running a call for a “sick person” who...
View Article“Fixed it”
Slimm and I are taking some poor lady to the local rehab hospital. This poor hapless soul made the mistake of slipping on ice, and banging her head on the pavement. Now she has a tracheostomy and...
View ArticleSo long, Slimm
After three years, and thousands of calls, the end of C and Slimm is here. Management has seen fit to end the best work relationship either one of us has ever had and give us two new partners. We did...
View ArticleSometimes we pick up chicks
Somebody got tased by the long arm of the local law. Which means, of course, that an ambulance has to ‘check him out.’ Which means, of course, that we turn on the lights and sirens because someone...
View ArticleThe dynamic duo is back
Slimm and I are going to be partners again. We had to pull a lot of strings, call in some favors, make some offers, and do some shift trading, but we made it happen. A well-executed plan is quite...
View ArticleListen and learn
Newguy is out today. He and his wife are finding out the gender of their new baby, so he is going to the appointment. Well, Mrs. Newguy says they aren’t going to find out, but Newguy says he is going...
View ArticleIt’s like a Hollywood script
Finally, Slimm and I are back together. This will be our first time back on a truck together in what feels like years, but has really only been about one year. I have to wake up 5 hours earlier than I...
View ArticleBad dreams
A female smells gas in her home. Dispatch tells us to stage with the engine. We don’t know why, but really don’t care. A few minutes later, we find out. There was an alleged prowler walking around the...
View ArticleMy partner the bigot
Slimm and I are trying to take care of a gentleman who is a guest of the County in their local Adult Detention Facility. He’s been vomiting, has a little bit of a fever, and describes a very sharp...
View Article