Another farewell to Slimm
He’s gone again. This time for real. It is going to stick. He turned in his notice, then a few weeks later, his uniforms and his badge and everything. My partner left. I don’t blame him. He got a...
View ArticleSmoothie
“Male assaulted. PD on scene” reads the MDT. It’s raining and traffic is heavy, so I have to actually pay attention to the roads instead of the book I was reading. I’m reading the new Grisham book,...
View ArticleBurn
Shaq and I are dispatched to a suicide attempt by carbon monoxide poisoning. The MDT says someone has been in their running car in the locked garage all night. The caller says the person is still...
View ArticleDispatching Wolf
“Med four, call radio please.” Sigh. I hate when they want us to call on the radio. We have radios. They are called ‘radio’ (or dispatch, depending where you are, whatever) for crying out loud. We...
View ArticleIt worked
The drug overdoses (that either aren’t dead, or are awakened) always go the same way: Shaq and I stand around with between four and six firemen, and at least two police officers for upwards of an hour...
View ArticleNo autographs, thank you
Some call for some lame-sounding complaint at a pricey address. Like, multi-million dollar homes behind fancy gates and stuff. A sick 80 year old or something like that. Fancy house. Lots of stone...
View ArticleDirty carpet
Working with a new guy today. He told me his name, but I forgot it after I fell asleep. It was like, 4 in the morning. Cut me some slack, okay? He has had no fewer than 6 cups of coffee in the past 2...
View ArticleGuns are a bad idea for EMS
The gun-carrying for EMS debate is getting stronger down here. It hasn’t totally died down, but for some reason it is becoming more and more of an issue. I really think that EMS carrying guns is a bad...
View ArticleMCI review
When at an MCI, assignments are given to you. For example “take those three patients from that car right there to Local Hospital.” But we all knew that already. When those instructions are given, it...
View ArticleCath lab
I’m running a call with Joe again. A little old lady fell down. Literally. Fire is on scene. We all mosey into the house. “Hey, guys. Whatchagot?” “Hey, this is Maude*. She fell right here walking to...
View ArticleNunnya
Slimm is in a mood. He hasn’t had his coffee or his sausage biscuit, and it is cold outside. Slimm doesn’t do well when cold, hungry, and decaffeinated. We are running a call for a “sick person” who...
View Article“Fixed it”
Slimm and I are taking some poor lady to the local rehab hospital. This poor hapless soul made the mistake of slipping on ice, and banging her head on the pavement. Now she has a tracheostomy and...
View ArticleSo long, Slimm
After three years, and thousands of calls, the end of C and Slimm is here. Management has seen fit to end the best work relationship either one of us has ever had and give us two new partners. We did...
View ArticleSometimes we pick up chicks
Somebody got tased by the long arm of the local law. Which means, of course, that an ambulance has to ‘check him out.’ Which means, of course, that we turn on the lights and sirens because someone...
View ArticleIt’s our choice
So some pretentious jackwagon comes up to Shaq and I at the hospital after we dropped off a patient. “Why didn’t you transport that patient emergency?” I’m dumbfounded. Plus hungry. “Wait. What?”...
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